May. 3rd, 2011

marsabi1: (Default)
Title: WHAT IF? (A comment fic)
Written By : Marsabi
Rating: NC-17
Summary: What if Noah had not rejected Luke that day in the bar? What if Noah “forgives” him, and they get back together ? Many argue (in douche fandoms) that Reid never would’ve been with Luke then. Of course, Noah’s stingy heart didn’t forgive Luke in that famous scene. Either way, I don’t think it matters. Luke is meant for Reid.
Warning: NC-17
Author's Notes: I'm experimenting with POV here.


“He’s strong enough to take it.”

“I’m not strong enough to tell him.”

“That’s guilt talking, not honesty. “

“You want honesty? Okay. I do have feelings for you; I can’t deny that anymore. But I’m in love with Noah.”

“Well, I guess you have a decision to make then, don’t you?”


***

Reid’s eyes say so much. His jaw is clenched tightly. You can see Reid’s struggling. Yet you sit there dumbly, a paralysis has overtaken you. Across the room, you feel the force of Noah’s gaze. You wish for the courage to touch Reid, just on the hand and feel his warm skin again, before he slips away. You’re struggling too, but Reid doesn’t know it. You do nothing. You let him go.

***

You choose Noah.


Noah spends the rest of the night talking about his future. He wants to work on his film. He wants to go back to school. He wants you to know that he’s sorry for being hard on you, blaming you. Now he’s ready to “forgive.” You smile, nod. Choked sentences come out of your mouth, but you can’t hear your own words. A hundred different moments with Noah are holding you captive. You can’t leave him.

Your face feels tight, drained. Your body’s cold. Noah wants you back, and you should be elated. Noah is your life; you are nothing without him. Noah can see you, at last. He can look you in the eyes.

So why do you feel so unbearably grim?


***


At Memorial, you’re working with Reid. It’s so painful you can barely breathe. You wait for Reid to call you Trust Fund or Richie Rich. You stare into those stern blue eyes, hoping for even a little smile. You joke. You follow him around. You know you must stop this.

Noah still brings up Reid every night.

“Did you see him today?”

“Did you think about his kiss?”

“If I hadn’t caught you, would you have slept with him?”

You tell Noah. “ No, no, no.”

You lie.

You speak to Noah carefully or not at all.

Reid never made you careful. He made you angry. He made you want to pull his hair, push him against a wall, put your face right up to his. Later, he made you want to anchor your lips together, or simply rest on his shoulder.

****

Late at night, you hear his voice.

How do I make you feel?


You dream of sex, of that predatory gleam in Reid’s eye. You dream his tongue is everywhere, tasting. You dream that his firm mouth is biting on your nipples to the point of pain, making his way to your ass, opening up your tight hole. Fucking you breathless. Every night, the sex dream turns dirtier. He lets you play with his dick, lick his balls. You imagine Reid lets you do anything. Every morning, your cock aches and drips.

***

You choose Noah.


He is supposed to be your man, your partner. But it never feels this way. At your Dad and Molly’s wedding, Noah leaves you with his food, carrying his plate. All around are couples holding hands. You’re alone.

Noah pumps Abigail for information about LA; he almost seems to flirt with her. When you confront him, Noah calls you dramatic. Miserably, you eat some cold appetizers. The food tastes bitter in your mouth. When Abigail asks Noah about you, he stands far away.

Reid never hesitated to grab you, kiss you. You hold a finger to your lips, remembering.

Back home, Noah approaches sex like he is doing you a favor. He plows into your ass. You think about Reid: his face, his hands, his unexpected smile. Noah is panting and thrusting.

Afterwards, Noah falls asleep, perfectly content.

You stay awake all night.

***

You go to Katie’s house to explain once more about Noah. How he’s your life. How you must love him. Why you picked him.

Reid stands there with a five o’clock shadow on his cheeks, his shirt half-tucked, a bowl of cereal in his hand. His eyes are cold and sad at the same time.

Reid asks why you’re bothering him.

“Because we mattered. Because we’re something.” You insist on this fact.

You long to touch him.

“What are we, Luke?“

You find it impossible to reply.

Reid closes his door.

***

You go to the pond and stare into the water for hours, deeply depressed.

You miss the fun and the honesty.

You miss the man.

Softly you speak his name.

Reid.

***

You break up with Noah.

It‘s frightening and exhilarating all at once.

“You’ll regret it, Luke. You’ll be sorry. You’ll be back.”

Noah’s face is ugly. You realize that ugliness has no power over you any longer. You feel none of the usual guilt.


Leaving him, your feet practically bounce on the air.

***

Standing at Reid's door, you prepare a speech and practice your words, but the door opens with a loud bang.


You lick your lips nervously -


- he pulls you into the room, kissing you hard.


Reid nibbles at your lips. He bites and then runs his tongue over the lower one. The kisses are swift and frantic. His hands are going underneath your shirt and rubbing down your spine. Heat floods your whole body. He kisses you again, with a warm slowness now. It makes you tremble, and small sounds of longing escape your lips.


“If we do this- I want it all,” Reid says. This is all he says, and you nod desperately, wiping at your tears.


Reid touches his finger to the wet spot of skin. Silently, as you kiss him again, inhaling his scent, gripping his waist, you vow to make it up to him forever.


Together, you go into the bedroom. You take off all of his clothes and spread your fingers over his heart. For a moment, you just feel its rhythm. Dropping to your knees, you hold his lean cock in your hands, admiring the length and beauty. You taste and lick and suck. You worship his arousal with your mouth.


You eat his cum like thick jelly.


You stand, your legs shaking, a smile on your face. Reid gives you a tiny smile back. You reach out to stroke his cheek. His smile widens. It is his true smile, the private one that he rarely shows. Seeing it, your heart nearly seizes with joy.


Reid slowly undresses you, kissing his way down the slope of your shoulders , over your chest, and then lower. He takes your cock into his mouth and wets it with his tongue. You grip the nape of his neck. Reid moves his mouth up and down.


He pushes you down on the bed, and continues. You ejaculate wildly. Reid swallows. He then begins to lick at your buttocks, holding your flesh apart with his fingers.


As he straddles your thighs, you look up at him. You can sense his need for you. You know this was not a mistake or an accident. You think about how this is destiny.


Reid hovers over your body, tenderly stroking. When your eyes meet his, Reid’s face changes. His breathing is shallow. He holds your face in his hands.


He makes love to you, and it's like the light after the darkness. Nothing will be uncertain ever again. You reach out for Reid’s naked body, pulling him closer. Reid pulls at you too.


The right man is finally in your arms.

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December 2011

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